Aug 7

Making of a Mark

Cookie here, with post number one. We begin with "MakingofAMark" (not his real screen name, I would never embarass anyone in public to the extent this fine young speciman has done in private).

Mark contacted me almost as soon as I signed up. I won't comment or share what his profile is like, suffice it say it begins with a piece of poetry - his own poetry, and he designates it as such by signing his real last name to it - which is also part of his username, which is just so NOT smart I can't even begin, don't get me started.

He also calls out that he "has really good hearing, and can be very seductive" (yes in the same sentence, just like that). Perhaps he can hear a hot babe's pubic hairs rustling in her panties?

Here is how our correspondence went:

Mark: @~~~~~
hi

Cookie:is that the best you can do? lol

Mark: lol
love the sweep me off my feet at 5pm....I clearly want the same ....a gf
:-)
Nice to meet you...name?
x


-------------------------------------------

Now, I didn't answer, because you don't freaking ask me for my name. If I feel like telling it you, that should be a good indicator to you. If you ask for it, well that's a negative indicator. Anyway, I decided to ignore him.

Next came some instant messages via the dating site:

(2:06:02 pm) Mark: hi
(2:07:08 pm) Mark: I want to find out more about warmcookies
(2:31:20 pm) Mark: g2g but....if you are bold....call me ...516 555 1212

Creep factor is already through the roof here, but I thought Maybe Mark was good for something, so I sent him this insite email:

Cookie: this is all so fast... would you give me an award? lots of girls seem to have them

Poor Mark, he bit hard now, with more IMs:

(7:41:16 pm) Mark: you are too damn cute....
(7:41:26 pm) Mark: of course you deserve an award!
(7:41:37 pm) Mark:the # thing was over zealous on my part
(7:41:45 pm) Mark:hows life?

(7:42:16 pm) Cookie: tired, long day>
(7:42:21 pm) Cookie:only here for a minute...
(7:44:04 pm) Cookie:how are you?

(7:54:44 pm) Mark:well ty
(7:55:08 pm) Mark:life is great! im signing off soon as well/.
(7:55:13 pm) Mark:what is your name?

(7:56:00 pm) Cookie:susan [BLATANT LIE - I DONT EVEN KNOW ANY SUSANS]

(7:56:12 pm) Mark:hi
(7:56:14 pm) Mark:!
(7:58:17 pm) Mark:you are pretty and seem genuine
(8:00:36 pm) Mark:g2g 516.555.1212....ttyl hopefully:-)@~~~
(8:30:36 pm) Mark:wow im back [WHERE DID HE GO?]
(8:30:54 pm) Mark:so...tell me more about you susan....not alot in the profile
(8:33:41 pm) Mark:?

 

Another email from Mark:

we answered alot of important questions the same
:-)
i like that

[NOTE: I HAVE ONLY ANSWERED 5 QUESTIONS OUT OF THOUSANDS]

 

Then he gave me this award:

Shroud of Mystery

My eyes are vague blue, like the sky, and change all the time;
they are indiscriminate but fleeting, entirely specific and
disloyal, so that no one trusts me. I am always looking away.
Or again at something after it has given me up. It makes me
restless and that makes me unhappy, but I cannot keep them
still. If only i had grey, green, black, brown, yellow eyes; I
would stay at home and do something. It's not that I'm
curious. On the contrary, I am bored but it's my duty to be
attentive, I am needed by things as the sky must be above the
earth. And lately, so great has their_anxiety become, I can spare myself little sleep.

 

Then he sent another message:

You better accept my award:-) its a frank ohara poem
Seriously though.....I want a hot and honest gf...if we hit it off we can delete our (dating website) accounts togeher :-)

ttys

[WOW How romantic, deleting our accounts together]

 

Then he sent me even more IMs

(11:07:08 am) Mark:hi
(11:07:17 am) Mark:ask you a question?
(11:18:02 am) Mark:?
(11:42:58 am) Mark::-)
(11:45:27 am) Mark:honestly I dont know if you can handle me....I may be too funy charming andhardworking for you....persistant and passionate....can you handle this susan?
(12:49:20 pm) Mark:stop searching for other less funny and honest guys
(12:49:22 pm) Mark:x
(12:49:39 pm) Mark:You and I are going to a party tonight
(12:54:56 pm) Mark:I have been on a coffee kick since 9am....just me and lets shoot the breeze....do you really mention sexin your profile? who doesnt like sex? but you must know,,,,the best sex comes after 2 people get to know eachother....516.555.1212...call now im free and loving life

 

Recap

Now just to recap, I am extracting all the correspondence I sent Mark (and let's remember even this was all in answer to his):

  1. is that the best you can do? lol
  2. this is all so fast... would you give me an award? lots of girls seem to have them
  3. tired, long day, only here for a minute...how are you?
  4. susan

This creates a Mark/Cookie ratio of roughly 96/4.

 

Final Word

I think the real problem here, was the weird @~~~~~ thing Mark kept doing. I mean seriously, WTF is that? I have an idea, but wow, too gross to even type it.

Mark, is lonely. REALLY lonely. I would prescribe regular, furious, masturbation were I his therapist. And he should do it at, say, 7pm. He would have much more enjoyable evenings.

 

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1 response to “Making of a Mark”

  1. Cookie Says:
    Aug 24, 2010 at 12:46 PM I had more IMs from Mark but they are so embarassing I can't post them. He basically cried like a baby, threatened to take the award he gave me, and then did so!
    I can't believe I let him slip through my fingers!

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